For the curious, the reason my eyeballs are currently burning like they're covered in acid is that last night, after I went to bed early hoping to get a nice restful night's sleep, I was awakened from said restful sleep at 4:15 AM by my phone ringing.
Since everyone who knows my phone number also knows that I hate talking on the phone, and since the number on caller ID wasn't one I recognized, and since it was 4:15 in the goddamn morning, I naturally assumed it was some kind of emergency and at least one of my favorite people in the universe had been killed or was in the process of being killed by terrorists or Godzilla or something equally horrible. So I immediately shook off the sleep and answered:
Female voice: Hello?
Female voice: [pause] Who's this?
Me: Who the fuck is this?
Female voice: I think I have the wrong number.
Me: You think? [click]
Do me a favor, folks: if you're going to make a phone call at 4:15 in the morning, please take a moment to make sure you're dialing the right number.