The Pie Trip Diaries, Days 3 & 4: August 12th and 13th, 2003

Morning arrived on schedule as usual on day 3, and there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth until Brunslo and I remembered that we were going to have razzleberry pie for breakfast.

We soon realized, though, that in spite of having a delicious pie just begging us to devour it, we had no utensils to devour it with. Unfazed, we dug in with our hands. The pie was good. Nothing terribly special, but good. I couldn’t eat any more after two handfuls, but Brunslo managed to finish off most of the rest.

With the razzleberry pie settling like a mushy rock in our stomachs, we once again hit the road. This time we headed north along scenic coastal highway 101, having taken our southward journey as far as we felt we should. As usual, traffic was a big fat bitch and the road was under construction every ten miles or so. Nevertheless, the drive was beautiful. Ocean, rocks, trees, mountains, put ‘em all together in your head and you’ll know what I’m talking about.

After an uneventful drive, we eventually arrived at the small coastal town of Florence on the central Oregon coast, where we found, to our great joy, the holy grail of our trip: a Holiday Inn Express. We’d been seeing signs for them all along the road, but the places we ended up sleeping never had one. The Holiday Inn Express is to the Budget Inn as homemade strawberry cheesecake with graham cracker crust and whipped cream is to Jell-O quick mix cheesecake. It was relatively expensive, but God was it swank compared to the other places we’d stayed up to then. Don’t get me wrong, the Days Inn wasn’t bad, but Holiday Inn is just so much nicer. We had a restful night and awoke the next morning (that’s today) to finish the final leg of our journey.

Today’s drive was another boring, uneventful thing. We stopped for lunch in Newport and had delicious hazelnut pie…sadly only the third actual pie we ate on the pie trip. We’ve decided that next year, the pie trip will consist of a twenty minute drive to Banning’s 24 Hour Restaurant and Pie House.

Eventually, we arrived home safely, having logged 1,088 miles, three pies, and zero speeding tickets.

Things we learned on the pie trip:

  1. California sucks.
  2. Road construction sucks.
  3. Brunslo can’t aim a video camera to save his life.
  4. Hotels are expensive.
  5. Fuck the police. Fuck, fuck, fuck the police.

Stay tuned for more pictures and, eventually, video from the trip.