SMS Spam (thanks, T-Mobile)

I just got my first SMS spam. I feel violated: /Visit our new location in Tanasbourne, 2014 NW Stucki Ave. Pay your Bill, Buy Accessories, Add a Line! (503)533-0183

Not only is this targeted spam (I live in Tanasbourne), it’s also from T-Mobile, the same dipshits I pay every month for my cell service. If you were paying for, say, email service, would you find it acceptable for your service provider to send you spam? Probably not. So why is it acceptable for T-Mobile to send me SMS spam?

I sent Mr. Howard the following email:

Hello Mr. Howard.

About twenty minutes ago, my cell phone chirped and buzzed in my pocket.

“Ahoy!” said I, “methinks I’ve received a message!”

I retrieved the phone, punched some buttons, and was overcome with feelings of sadness, anger, and mild intestinal discomfort when I saw the message I had received.

“Visit our new location in Tanasbourne,” it said. But it might as well have said, “Greetings, paying T-Mobile customer! Welcome to the wonderful world of SMS spam! We know where you live, and we have no qualms about interrupting your day with targeted advertisements! Doesn’t that make you want to continue giving us money?”

By my calculations, as a loyal T-Mobile customer for over two years, I’ve provided T-Mobile with more than $1,200 in revenue. On the whole, I’ve been happy with the service; I haven’t had any reason to consider spending my money anywhere else. Until now.

Congratulations, Mr. Howard. Not only have you sent me my very first SMS spam (a memory I will treasure for years, I assure you), you have also caused me to have doubts about whether I want to continue providing T-Mobile with revenue. I pay T-Mobile to provide me with cell service; I do not pay them to interrupt me with advertisements.

Please keep this in mind next time you consider sending SMS spam to T-Mobile customers.

Lo and behold, less than two hours after I sent the aforequoted email, Mr. Howard responded:

Mr. Grove,

I apologize for any inconvenience the text message may have caused you and I do appreciate you taking the time to give us feedback, especially when it’s as creative as yours.

I can assure you it is not spam, it was a one time message we sent out to inform people of our new store in Hillsboro. We are not listed in the Yellow Pages so as a courtesy to our customers we just wanted to let them know we’re here so they don’t have to drive to Beaverton or Washington Square.

Again, I am greatly sorry that you didn’t appreciate the text message we sent out. Be assured that you won’t receive another SMS message from me that is unsolicited.

If you would like a courtesy credit of 50 bonus minutes put on your account to counter act your intestinal discomfort caused by the SMS give me at call at the store 503-533-0183 and we’ll take care of you.

Best Regards,

Ross Howard

T-Mobile business aside, I have a question for you – for my own personal knowledge, if you would be so gracious to answer.

I see you got in on the gmail beta email program. I was just kind of curious how you like it? Any features you especially like or something that you think should be added in?

Seems like a nice enough guy, and I’m tickled that he noticed my return address (I used my Gmail account because I already get plenty of spam at my address). He even has good grammar, which is a refreshing surprise these days. Hell, I may even go check out the store. I’ve been wanting a new phone anyway.