Yesterday morning I nipped down to my local Apple Store and bought a MacBook Pro. This is the second Apple product I've ever bought; the first was my iPhone. I'd be lying if I said the iPhone didn't have something to do with this.

I've been a Windows user all my life, mostly by choice. On the whole, I like Windows. I know it inside and out, upside-down and backwards, and I'm wildly productive with it. I'm also very aware of its many shortcomings, and one of the things Windows has never had that I've always wished it did is a solid Unix foundation under the hood.

Over the last few years I've watched as Mac OS X has risen in popularity and grown more mature. Part of me was always jealous — of the sexy UI, the powerful Unix underpinnings, the thriving open source community that sprang up around it — but another part of me was hesitant because there were things I liked very much about Windows that I would have to give up if I moved to Mac OS. So I watched from afar, often thinking about switching, but never making the leap because I could always think of at least a few things I wouldn't be able to live with (or without) if I switched.

Now, though, the time is right. Leopard resolves many of the minor complaints I've had about past OS X releases and brings a bevy of glorious new capabilities that Windows just can't compete with. And for those times when I still have to fall back on Windows — of which there will be, and already have been, many — I can rely on almost seamless virtualization thanks to VMWare Fusion and Parallels. And when that's not enough, I can still retreat to native Windows land via Boot Camp, whereupon my MacBook Pro shines in comparison with even the best PC laptops.

There have been, and will continue to be, frustrations and inconveniences (I still can't believe how slow and crappy Mac Firefox is), but I've made my choice. I'm betting on the OS that embraces tried and true technology rather than pretending it doesn't exist and that doesn't assault its users with DRM or unauthorized software updates.

Don't worry, Windows. We can still be friends. I just need some space.

Last Thursday I ordered a pair of lovely new Polk RM50T speakers from Woot. They were shipped via FedEx on Tuesday and were scheduled to arrive today.

I checked the tracking page this morning and saw that they were out for delivery, so I relaxed and played some TF2 while I waited. A few hours later I checked again and saw that they had been delivered. They were signed for by R. Grove, which is odd, because R. Grove had been sitting on his ass for the past three hours pwning bitches.

The signature on the proof of delivery document certainly isn't mine. Whoever signed for the packages didn't even bother signing my name. It looks a lot more like "Paul L." than "R. Grove".

Naturally, I called FedEx to ask them where they had delivered my expensive new speakers. They put me on hold for a few minutes, then told me they'd ask the driver when he got back this evening, and then they'd get back to me by Tuesday. Couldn't they just ask the driver now and save some time? No, they couldn't. Surely, if the driver is capable of transmitting the signature to the website electronically, there must also be some way of contacting the driver while he's out and about? No. Apparently not. But "don't worry," said the FedEx support agent, "this isn't the first time something like this has happened."

Clearly, FedEx has incompetence down to a science, so I should sit back and allow them to do what they do best. In the meantime, if you happen to have taken delivery of a couple of fancy speakers that you didn't order, could you hold onto them for me? Thanks.

Update: At around 5pm, the FedEx guy showed up at my door with my speakers. It turns out someone else on his route had ordered the same speakers from Woot, but in a different color. Since they were in almost identical boxes, he accidentally delivered my speakers to that guy (which is where the strange signature came from). He eventually realized his mistake, swapped out the speakers, and got everything sorted out.

Talk about a funny coincidence.

I found this lovely little critter in my dinner this evening. Very nearly ate him, too. Yum. That's what I get for trying to eat healthy for once.

The salad was triple washed, though, so at least it was a clean grub.

On Memorial Day (which, for those of you who can’t remember, happened on May 28th this year), Felicity and I went to the San Jose Levitz showroom to buy a couch. They gave us a sweet deal on a lovely leather number and, as part of the sale, threw in free delivery. Before taking our order, the salesperson warned us that they would have to backorder the model we wanted, but that it would arrive within a few weeks. It was a good enough deal that we were fine with that.

A few weeks later, I got a call saying that the couch would take a little longer than expected due to heavy demand. The salesperson assured me that we’d have our couch within 90 days. He gave me the option of canceling my order and getting my deposit back, but I decided to wait it out. I didn’t think I’d be able to find a similar couch at that price, so I figured it would be worth the wait.

Time continued to pass. The Levitz website happily informed me that the estimated delivery timeframe for my couch was early September. We waited. Our living room waited. Our Netflix rentals waited.

Finally, late last week, I got a call from the salesperson saying our couch had arrived “early”. I paid the balance of the order and scheduled a delivery for the 19th — today. He tried to charge me an $80 delivery fee until I reminded him that I had ordered the couch during a free delivery sale. He agreed to waive the fee and confirmed that our couch would be delivered on the 19th.

When 5:00 rolled around today and the couch hadn’t appeared, I called to see where it was. The San Jose store told me to call the 1-800 number. The 1-800 number told me the couch had been scheduled for pickup, not delivery, and that I would have to call the store and reschedule. I called the store again and waited about 20 minutes before someone finally answered. I started to explain the situation and the woman on the other end interrupted and said, “You need to call the Santa Clara warehouse, they handle deliveries.”

Finally, after I said “please stop talking and listen to me” three times, she shut up and let me explain the problem. She transferred me to the original salesperson, who apologized but for some reason thought it necessary to inform me repeatedly that “the ‘d’ for ‘delivery’ somehow got changed to a ‘p’ for ‘pickup’”. As if that made everything okay.

He rescheduled the delivery for Thursday, which he swore was the earliest day they could possibly deliver. Wonderful.

Thanks Levitz. I guess we’ll be buying our furniture at Ikea from now on.

Update (2007-09-20): I got a call today from a gentleman who identified himself as Levitz’s head of store operations. He apologized for the problems I experienced, assured me they would be addressed, and offered me a $150 gift certificate (which I turned down).

It was a very nice gesture and I’m glad to hear that they’re making an effort to ensure that this doesn’t happen again. I’m not sure whether they learned of my dissatisfaction by finding this blog post or by reading my post-delivery feedback, but either way I’m grateful that they tried to make things right.

Update 2 (2007-09-20): A few hours after the last update, I got a call from the CEO (!) of Levitz. He reiterated their apologies and assured me that they’re working hard on improving things to make sure mixups like this don’t happen. He also asked if there was any way they could make it up to me, but I politely declined.

Yesterday we got our first electricity bill since moving to California. After reattaching my lower jaw and popping my eyeballs back into their sockets, I turned off the air conditioner and ran around the house unplugging gadgets and scaring the cats, who aren't used to the silence or the lack of glowing LEDs.

If anyone needs me, I'll be in my back yard trying to build a fusion reactor.

It's been a while since I mentioned I had accepted a job at Yahoo!, and more than a few people have asked me when I was going to stop being lazy and write about what it's like working for Big Purple. Now that I've been there almost two months, I feel like I'm finally ready to give an accurate report.

So. What's it like? In a word: awesome. And by awesome I mean totally sweet.

Maybe it's just that right off the bat I've gotten to work on projects that are really interesting and that present lots of fun challenges, but so far I've been having a blast. I honestly can't remember the last time I've enjoyed a job this much. I can't wait to be able to show people what I've been doing.

I also love the environment. The people are friendly and smart, the campuses are beautiful, the coffee is free, and the food is delicious. Especially the cornbread. I'm absolutely in love with the cornbread served in the Yahoo! cafeterias, to the point where I've had to fight the urge to eat meals consisting entirely of cornbread and honey.

So far I've also managed to resist the urge to partake of the dessert bar, which is kept well-stocked with various kinds of delicious-looking pies and cakes and whatnot, but I imagine I'll eventually lose that battle. And what a delicious loss it will be.

As with any job, there will no doubt be good days and bad days, and I'll eventually develop complaints. I could probably already think of a few minor ones. But as long as the work is at least half as fun as it is now, and as long as they don't take away my cornbread, I think Yahoo! and I will have a long and happy relationship.

Thanks to my recent misfortunes, I've had to call the Oregon DMV's Salem office several times to make various requests, like asking them to mail me a temporary non-photo driver license to replace the one I lost and having them send me proof of my license status so I could get a California license.

Every time I've called, they've picked up the phone on the first ring, answered with a friendly greeting, and listened carefully as I explained my problem. And each time they've gone out of their way to either fax or mail me the documents I needed as soon as humanly possible, without me even having to ask them to.

Rock on, Oregon DMV. It's not often that I experience such great customer service that I wish I had more excuses to call.

As you may have read, I recently lost my wallet. There's a good chance it was stolen. Inside my wallet were my driver license, several credit cards and, unfortunately, my social security card, which was only in my wallet because I was starting a new job the next morning and would need it to prove my citizenship.

Naturally, the first thing I did was call my banks and cancel my credit cards. I then used Debix to file a fraud alert with all three credit reporting agencies.

Last week I got a letter purporting to be from Equifax informing me that they would not place a fraud alert on my account until I sent them copies of several additional documents proving my identity and current address. There are a few problems with this:

1. I have no way of knowing if the letter is actually from Equifax. Anyone who knows that I lost my wallet could also have guessed that I would file a fraud alert, and could have sent this letter in an attempt to trick me into giving them sensitive information. It's unlikely, but it's a possibility.
2. The letter insists that I send proof of my current address, but the address it lists is actually my previous address, since I just moved. I can't prove that I live at my previous address, because I don't live there anymore, and if I provide proof of my current address, Equifax won't accept it because they don't know my current address.
3. I have already provided Equifax, via Debix, with my full name, social security number, date of birth, and my past few addresses. This is more than enough information for them to positively identify me.

According to the Fair Credit Reporting Act, Equifax seems to be on shaky ground here:

§ 605A. Identity theft prevention; fraud alerts and active duty alerts [15 U.S.C. §1681c-1]

(a) One-call Fraud Alerts

(1) Initial alerts. Upon the direct request of a consumer, or an individual acting on behalf of or as a personal representative of a consumer, who asserts in good faith a suspicion that the consumer has been or is about to become a victim of fraud or related crime, including identity theft, a consumer reporting agency described in section 603(p) that maintains a file on the consumer and has received appropriate proof of the identity of the requester shall--

(A) include a fraud alert in the file of that consumer, and also provide that alert along with any credit score generated in using that file, for a period of not less than 90 days, beginning on the date of such request, unless the consumer or such representative requests that such fraud alert be removed before the end of such period, and the agency has received appropriate proof of the identity of the requester for such purpose; and

(B) refer the information regarding the fraud alert under this paragraph to each of the other consumer reporting agencies described in section 603(p), in accordance with procedures developed under section 621(f).

When Debix contacted Equifax, they were acting on my behalf, they asserted in good faith that I had a suspicion that I would become a victim of fraud, and they provided Equifax with more than enough identifying information for Equifax to positively identify my credit record.

Unfortunately, the FCRA doesn't actually define what constitutes appropriate proof of identity. However, since the other two credit agencies accepted my filing and activated fraud alerts, that would seem to imply that they thought I provided enough proof.

Why are Equifax's requirements more stringent? How does this protect consumers in any way? Their strictness doesn't provide any additional protection for consumers. What kind of identity thief would actually want to activate a fraud alert? And even if they did, what good would it do them?

The identity thief would get a phone call the next time I tried to open a line of credit and they would be able to allow or deny the creation of that account. If they allowed it, they'd derive no additional benefit (since they already have my identity). If they denied it, I would instantly know that something was wrong and could contact the credit agency to get things sorted out.

The only thing Equifax's refusal does is cause me more inconvenience and increase the risk that an identity thief will be able to get away with committing fraud using my identity while I'm trying to figure out how I can possibly give Equifax more proof than I already have.

Thanks Equifax.

1. Great way to lose weight fast. No money equals no food equals goodbye excess fat!
2. Instead of sitting in the hotel being bored, you get to spend that time calling banks, canceling credit cards, and trying to convince the DMV in your home state to issue you a replacement driver license without you being physically present.
3. Everyone in the HR department at your new job will remember you because you're the only one who didn't have any form of identification or proof of citizenship on your first day.
4. Driving a car with out-of-state plates on unfamiliar roads without a license adds a lovely hint of danger to the daily commute.
5. Blog fodder.

I must have done something to please the gods recently. Remember last week when I posted about how I’d gotten a great new job and was moving to California? Peanuts compared to what just happened. You’re not going to believe this. I hardly believe it myself. If you’re standing, sit down, and if you’re sitting, stand up:

I just won the lottery.

Saturday morning, two days after arriving in California, I was in a 7-11 buying a Coke and some snacks to take back to the hotel and I saw a SuperLotto Plus sign advertising the $13 million jackpot. I thought to myself, “Boy, my luck sure has been great lately; how cool would it be if I actually won the lottery?”

So what the hell, I bought a ticket. I pulled some numbers out of my ass. It was 3:07 in the afternoon, so I started with 3-7. My birthday’s December 18th, so I added 18. The nutrition info on the Coke listed 33g of carbohydrates and 40mg of sodium: 33-40. Then, for the MegaBall number, I chose 2, since it was my second day in California and this was the second lottery ticket I’d bought in my entire life.

I just about shat my pants when they announced the winning numbers: 03-07-18-33-40…and the MegaBall? Yep: 02.

I didn’t start screaming or anything, because I had always told myself that if I ever won a million dollars I would be cool and collected. So I just sat there calmly and quietly and tried to count to a million in my head. I got to 102 before I realized how much money $13 million is.

$13 million! I’m a millionaire! A goddamn multi-millionaire! I mean, yeah, there’ll be taxes and whatnot, but still. Jesus. This just about makes up for the cost of living increase.

Of course, now all I can think about is how much work this is going to involve. I have to get the ticket verified, I have to get a financial adviser, I need to decide whether I want the lump sum or the payments, I have to fend off the hundreds of people who are going to start begging for handouts, and of course I’ve gotta do some research to make sure those numbers aren’t cursed so I don’t end up like Hurley on Lost. All while starting a new job (yes, I’m still going to go to work).

This has been one hell of a lucky month.