The good toothbrush conspiracy

Friday June 20, 2003 @ 03:31 PM (PDT)

I went to the dentist today for my six month cleaning and checkup. I told the hygienist about a sensitive tooth, near the back right on the top. She looked at it, scraped at it a bit, and said it looked like there was something in the very early stages of becoming evil.

After the cleaning, as usual, she gave me some floss and one of those little tiny free toothbrushes that I always throw away because they suck. So the dentist came in, looked at my troubled tooth, and announced that it was a baby cavity about to be born. “Odd,” I thought to myself, “that tooth has been sensitive for years and I mention it every six months, and this is the first time they’ve seen anything.” Apparently the gestation period for cavities is very, very long. Anyway, after telling me this, the dentist saw me holding the little sissy toothbrush and grabbed it out of my hands.

Then he rummaged around in a cabinet, pulled something out from behind a box on the top shelf, and handed it to me. It was a good toothbrush. Not a stupendous badass of a toothbrush, but at least a good one. The best one I’ve ever gotten from a dentist for free. He said the specially-formed bristles on the tip would help me brush those hard-to-reach corners, where my cavity was forming.

This got me thinking. If they have good toothbrushes to give people, and if these toothbrushes do a better job of brushing those hard-to-reach corners where cavities tend to form, and if, as I’m sure I read somewhere once upon a time, most people don’t bother buying toothbrushes and just use the ones the dentist gives them, and if dentists really care about the well-being of our teeth, then wouldn’t it make sense for them to give us the good toothbrushes to begin with? It’s not like they’re terribly expensive or anything. Certainly a lot less expensive than the salt water aquarium in the waiting room or the ceiling-mounted televisions and flat-panel LCDs at every patient chair or the networked, computerized patient record database. Or am I missing something?

It’s obviously a conspiracy of some kind. Obviously.

Comments

My dentist gives me good toothbrushes.

...I never use the toothbrushes the dentist gives me. Their bristles are much too soft for my brushing technique and they're made of cheap, deformable plastic, so within a week's use, they will stick out in every direction but the one perpendicular to the handle where they'll do any good.

I buy my toothbrushes, and I get the extra firm ones if the store has them. Actually, I've found that the new Oral-B CrossAction is very good. It has cross-tilted bristles that get into the spaces between your teeth when you're a lazy sideways brusher like me (I guess you're really supposed to perform an up-and-down twisty motion in order to be a politically correct tooth brusher) and the thick bundle of firm bristles at the end is excellent for getting behind the teeth at the back of your mouth, which are normally the most susceptible to caries attack.

In any case, my advice is to save those lousy toothbrushes from the dentist for when some of your visitors forget their own or for brushing your bushy eyebrows or perhaps clean the inside of your keyboard - or if you like to melt stuff, they probably melt really cool.

Crummy toothbrushes aside, I really like this dentist. I was there getting a cleaning a few years ago, and he mentioned that I should probably have my wisdom teeth out soon. Then he eyed my top left wisdom tooth with a gleam in his eye and said, "Hey, I could yank this one out right now and save us some time later." I didn't see any reason not to, so he did, and it didn't even hurt much.

I was real thankful for that later when it came time to have the other three out, because those three turned out to have long nasty barbed roots. They all hung on like their lives depended on it (ha ha!) and the extraction was long and bloody (every time I go back now I get to admire the slightly brownish spot on one wall where I spurted blood, yay me!). Three teeth was plenty, and if there had been a fourth to extract, I would have been sad. Strangely, though, it wasn't very painful, and the recovery wasn't bad either. This guy just has the magic touch I guess.

Actually, this time they told me that I'm apparently brushing too well. I prefer a firm-bristled brush as well, and I tend to brush very thoroughly. The hygienist said that while my teeth were in great shape, my brushing technique is causing my gums to recede, which could be a problem in a few years. She recommended I use a softer brush and put less oomph behind the scrubbing.

How much do you floss? That is a big offender for gum recession.

Rarely if ever. Basically, I floss when I have something stuck between my teeth that I can't get out with my tongue or a fingernail.

Yeah, that would be bad for your gums. You need to floss daily - might as well make it a habit now. If you don't, you will inevitably get problems with periodontitis later in life. You don't want that.

Argh. I can't help but feel that i'm eavesdropping - but, I also can't help but feel that brushing one's teeth is more detrimental than not brusing one's teeth. Personal example time - the more toothpaste I use, and the more I brush my teeth, the condition of sensitivity or something increases. Once a day is enough i say, and my teeth are fine (well that's a very unproffesional viewpoint on the subject and they're probably rotting away as I type. Oh well.

I've been brushing my teeth once a day for years, even when I had braces, and I've only had three very minor cavities. And yet, I know people who brush their teeth several times a day and floss and use mouthwash and still have massive dental problems. I think different people just have different mouths.

Boy, that was profound.

Which 'once a day', though? I've found that both morning and night, if you're going to choose, have their pros and cons. Night, for example, allows you to brush off all the crud that's collected over the course of the day, but the people you spend time with aren't going to like you as much during the daytime. If you brush in the morning, you'll be able to maintain closer (hah) relationships, but you'll have given bacteria time to party overnight. Also, if you happen to have the type of relationship which involves someone else occupying your bed at night, don't expect any loving in the morning.
I, personally, not having to worry about the latter - and just being too lazy to care about germ parties - brush in the morning, as it's easier to work in to my morning routine (considering I lack anything that could possibly be called a nightly routine).

I brush in the morning, for several reasons. One, it gets rid of that nasty breath. Two, it means that "getting ready for bed" involves nothing more than taking off my pants and lying down. Three, I already hate mornings anyway, so adding my hatred of the taste of toothpaste to my hatred of mornings is like adding a raindrop to a thunderstorm. I certainly wouldn't want to do anything to upset my love of sleeping.

As for the bacteria partying overnight, I drink a lot of water both during and after meals, so food particles don't tend to stick around long.

in regards to you missing something in regards to dentists not caring about your teeth.....people suck, no one gives an honest shit about anyone else but themselves, and wonder why there are so many assholes in the world and why bullshit keeps piling up on them, when all they breed is negativity, thinking that if they ignore it it will just go away, lemme ask you does tooth decay go away if you ignore it? such is the decay of our society....kinda stupid huh? such is life, demanding of everything around it, and of nothing within

my cats breath smells like cat food

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