This really is a sad story. You see, there's this bridge near our house. Tabor has been trying for months to figure out how to use it. The poor fat bastard goes out there every morning at 10 AM and stands there, just looking at the bridge and thinking. And every evening he comes home a failure. I suppose I could point out to him that he's supposed to walk over the bridge and not stand under it, but that would ruin all my fun.