I went to the optometrist today for the first time ever. It was a long overdue visit. My vision's been getting blurrier and blurrier for years, which is the result of too much staring at computer screens and not enough staring at sunsets. Problem is, nobody will pay me to stare at sunsets.
After examining my eyes, the optometrist gave a sort of amused chuckle and explained that my eyes shouldn't be in the same head as each other. My right eye is shaped like a horizontal egg, while my left eye is shaped like a vertical egg. He says the right eye was probably genetically predisposed to be that way, and as my vision in that eye got worse, my left eye had to do more and more work, which caused the muscles to stretch it out of shape.
The result is that my right eye is basically worthless and my left eye is woefully nearsighted and is getting worse all the time since it's having to do all the work the right eye doesn't want to do.
So I'm getting glasses. Should have 'em next week. Yay me.
Comments
You should be happy.
You used to say that you really wanted to get glasses.
Re: You should be happy.
I am happy. I'll be able to see again. Plus, glasses make me look super smart.
20/20/20 Rule
Lucky for all of us that there's no union for eyeballs.
Re: You should be happy.
Sexy too. Or maybe that's just me and my bizzare fantasies....
Re: You should be happy.
As if you don't know wonko thinks glasses are sexy. As if that isn't the only reason you have glasses! Your false innocence is totally unconvincing, Herr Brunslo!
Re: You should be happy.
Actually if he looked like Angelina Jolie with an eye-patch dressed in a black leather Royal Air Navy uniform on and spoke with a British accent I would think he was hot. HA! No commas! Eat it!
Welcome to Astigmatism
I didn't get glasses until I was 10 years old. I always lucked out and sat in the front of the class, so I didn't really know I had a terrible problem. Of course, I also thought trees were big green blobs, that baseballs didn't really appear until they were about three feet from home plate when I was hitting, and that my father was just messing with my mind when he took me squirrel hunting and kept pointing up in the trees and telling me to shoot at things that were totally invislble to me, not to mention the fact that they were hidden in the aforementioned green blobby things. I shot anyway. Nothing ever died, so I guess that's a benefit of sorts.
Then one day they had this little chart that the teacher made us read...or try to read. Yep, I was blind. Wonder of wonders. Then I got glasses. Trees weren't green blobs, they had little sharply defined things like limbs and leaves. Baseballs actually left the pitcher's hand and travelled visibly to the plate, allowing me to actually HIT the things and CATCH the things and avoid being HIT ON THE HEAD by the things. And squirrels were very, very much at risk. I have now evolved to wearing trifocals, lineless though they may be. I have what has been described as the worst case of astigmatism most optometrists have ever seen. I went into Lenscrafters one time and gave the guy at the counter my prescription, after which he turned to the guys in the little glassed-off room where they make the glasses and said, "Hey guys, COME LOOK AT THIS!!" In terms of eyes looking like eggs, mine have been described as perfect little footballs, so much that one optometrist said he could put laces on the side of them, print the word SPALDING on the side, and sell them at the mall.
So good luck. May the world be clearer. May you still have your Ryan-ness even though you've joined the four-eyed world at a late age, although doing so spares you all the little kids teasing you because you're blind AND fat AND socially inept. And the indignity of having your glasses fog up at parties where the girl you wanted to impress laughs when you walk into the coffee table. Or trying to wear contact lenses even though your eyes are so funny shaped it's impossible so that when you put your finger up to move your contact back onto your eye while eating pizza, not noticing you have a crushed red pepper on the end of your finger and sliding it deftly between your contact lens and your eye, causing profuse tearing and mucous flow out of your nose and incoherent screaming while the girl you'd finally got to go out with you after a year is sitting across the table at the Pizza Hut wondering how in the world she can get herself gracefully out of the restaurant without anyone there knowing she was in any way associated with you...well, you get the idea.
See you soon. Hey, that goes for both of us.
Jeff
Like the site, hate the politics
I really like this site, but it amazes me at how liberal everyone of you (on this site) are. This is very much a new experience in that I've never really dealt with liberals before. I'm interested because I see everything completely different (and have all my life). I guess this has to do with the different locations and their respective influences on what makes us who we are. As you have probably guessed, I live in one of the about 40 red states that is far far from the left coast.
Re: Like the site, hate the politics
Welcome to the party. I'm glad an eyeglass discussion can be interpreted as liberal. We do what we can.