Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of What the Fuck

My head is still reeling after seeing the new Indiana Jones movie yesterday. It keeps coming back in flashes, like a bad dream. I’m not exaggerating; the movie is so ridiculous and incoherent that my memories of it feel exactly like the memories of some of my more nonsensical dreams. My biggest fear is that watching the first three movies will now remind me of this one, and I’ll enjoy them less as a result.

If you’re an Indiana Jones fan and haven’t seen Kingdom of the Crystal Skull yet, here’s my advice: don’t. For godssake don’t. See something else. Anything. Speed Racer even. Please don’t make the same mistake I did.