I made yet another attempt to find Half Ass Road today. That's four attempts so far. I didn't find Half Ass Road, but here's what I did find:

• Several locked gates, one of which had a sign claiming it was being monitored by video
• More than a few "No Trespassing" signs
• Many, many dirt roads
• A lost motorcyclist who flagged me down, said he had been driving around aimlessly on dirt roads for three hours, and begged me to help him find a highway

As I came to each dead end, the GPS worked tirelessly trying to find new routes, but I exhausted all of them. Every single one. At the end of each was either a natural barrier of some kind, a locked gate, or a very large, very serious-looking "No Trespassing" sign. I'm now convinced that Half Ass Road is located on private property, which means I'll probably never get to see it unless...no, no, that'd be silly. Dressing up like a ninja and hiking out there on foot in the middle of the night would probably get me shot or arrested or both.

I guess I'll let the mystery live on for now.