I live in a fairly nice apartment complex. The buildings and grounds are well-maintained, there doesn't seem to be any crime, and it's generally pretty quiet. But the whole place smells like shit. Why? Dogs. Dogs are big disgusting poop machines and their owners are evil bastards who have no qualms about letting their foul beasts dump enormous loads of crap wherever they damn well please.

I'm a cat person. Cats are relatively civilized creatures. They clean themselves. They don't stink. They don't slobber all over you. And most importantly, they poop in a box of sand in the bathroom and bury their own poops when they're done. Sure, it takes me a little bit of effort every so often to scoop the petrified cat poops out of the litter box, but it's really not a very dirty job and it means my cat isn't leaving piles of crap all over the apartment grounds where other people have to smell them and step in them.

I ask you: why do dog owners think they have less of a responsibility to clean up after their animals? If you're going to let your dog poop all over a yard that you own, then fine. But letting your dog poop all over an apartment complex where hundreds of other people live and where there are signs telling you to pick up your dog poop (complete with handy plastic bag dispensers and receptacles for poo-filled bags)...that's just evil. Not to mention unneighborly. Mr. Rogers would be appalled.

Every morning when I open my front door and take in a big breath of what should be fresh morning air but is actually the festering reek of dog shit, I think of how much I hate dogs and how much I enjoy killing people in violent video games, and how disappointed I would be if I didn't have any violent video games to play and had to resort to killing real people.